nasty halva

Am annoyed on a general basis.

Annoyance #1

Due to popular request, I hereby provide an update on the situation with hot Swedish bloke.

We were having a splendid dinner and there was so much che-mis-try one........he is a true Citizen of the World having lived in half of the world's cities, we talked about the conflict in the Middle East (he's lived in both the Christian and Muslim quarters of Beirut), then we talked about Pakistan (he lived in Peshawar for a year and a half) where we both agreed it was a fascinating because it was so wild, untamed, lawless (I went to Peshawar for a short visit in 2004) and he told me about a market at the border where you could find anything for sale - Uzis, Kalashikovs and even fighter jets on order, sackful of pure-grade heroin being sold by bearded men with magazines of bullets criss-crossing their chests. Then we talked about theories on Pashtuns being descendent from Jews, and the effectiveness of the Musharraf regime and the tenderness of lamb cuts found in the northern Pakistani cuisine.

It was great. And I was glowing.

But you know your evening is headed for a nosedive when he starts the next sentence with...

"And the woman I am going to marry is from................."

And you wished you could break the fall when he goes on to say......

"And the funny thing is that her name is the same as yours, and she is also a Muslim, and she practices the faith, and (guess what) I am converting to Islam. [Halva] in fact went to a Catholic school and was educated by nuns so you know she and I are able to understand each other spiritually"

That's me! Me, me me.

But no, its the duplicitous Halva.

Then [Halva], as if summoned, calls him and he disappears from the table for half an hour. Then he returns, and this time he's glowing, and says "Hey Halva, [Halva] says hi".

Oh great. Now we're friends. Sisters in Islam.

Annoyance #2

I have learned, albeit the hard way, that Certain Things are not meant to be Shared. I have been stupid enough to Assume that i could be big enough to share Everything and that all creatures are sensitive to each other's deficiencies, will not be gleeful or covetous, and will act supportively. Wrong.

Lesson: Never Share what you cannot Give.

Alternatively, force yourself to be Bigger, Suffer in the process and Never make the same mistake again.

Or just be all-round Nice Person and transpose Self to Higher Plane of Being. Bloody Hell.

Annoyance #3

My cousin gave birth to a baby - her husband is Uruguayian. How she met him in KL I dont know. All i know is that he's a great guy. And now with the bambino, who looks very interesting - neither like the mother nor the father - a distinctiveness, from the start. Am looking forward to getting to know her already.

The Annoyance was when i went to see them in hospital, and their best friend took First pictures of baby, mummy and daddy. And loaded in on to a laptop. And played them over and over. And over again. My eyes couldn't leave the screen. Tick tock. Tick tock.

I wanted to slit my wrists when I left the building.

Till next week.