Rolling on the River

I don't know why I just can't stop trying to figure out life.

Afterall, I should know by now that its an ebb and flow.

And so, I was ebbing severely post (millionth) break up with Aged Rockstar, a rash of mushy weddings to rub it all in, New World promises not living up to its hype therefore No New World, travel plans to Kerala for spiritual retreat dashed. No new man, career,money, travel prospects. 34 and still living with mum and dad, and lectured for coming home beyond 1am.

I plunged to new lows.

Only to discover, 3 weeks later, that the Old World gave me a New Life.

They offered me More than I expected.

Career revitalised. I looked around me and realised I was surrounded with recognition, validation and friends.

I signed up at a local Ayurvedic centre and spent half the $ budgeted for Kerala.

I attended a church wedding and cried at how beautiful the ceremony and the bride (a Crazy Colleague) was.

My mate Miss J is preggers and showing. The Gaggle of Girls took an outdoor photoshoot in my garden with the radiant mum-to-be.

My Korean colleagues came to my kitchen and made bulgogi which we had over Kim Chi and green tea.

My mate Fazu is going to Johns Hopkins. How I will miss him but how proud I am of him.

And Rara is getting engaged.

And when the Aged Rockstar called me at 4am to tell me he could not live without me, I didn't flounder.

It was hard, but necessary.

I feel whole again, mended. And strong.

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And while I was absorbed in my small world with its tiny concerns, my Colleague's brother has gone missing. He's in South Lebanon. She's hoping he got on to rescue ships with his American passport. She paces the office corridors like a caged animal. She's helpless; she can't go to him.

International Humanitarian Laws are out the window. Civilians dying, refugees, economic migrants turned refugees - the Filipino maids, the Ethiopians, murdered observers, abject frustration.

Something is Happening.

"A different Middle East" indeed.

And all I can do is to sit tight, and hope I do whatever I can in my life to earn this earthly Paradise when so many others are suffering beyond imagination.