Cross Roads

I owe a huge apology to everyone, who were lovely to leave comments despite the long absence. Especially to Sheila, for thoughts and concern all the way from Down Under. What a mate!

I am incredibly stressed at this point. Am at the Cross Roads of Life.

It's probably not all that dramatic, but am feeling incredibly high drama right now.

Have been offered new job which will take me away from my Clients and to a New World.

There are Good Reasons for taking the job, but its Out of my Comfort Zone.

Am feeling a terrible sense of Restlessness. I am Fidgety and Twitching all the bloody time. Am full of Nervous Excitement its not funny.

The New World will allow me to embrace other Dreams, which i have harboured for a long time. But there are Obstacles that stand in my way.

Also, I am hopelessly in love with the Aged Rockstar. I love him, I really do. And he loves me, at least I think so.

But we can't be together because of Many Reasons. All Valid. Although he thinks we should just wing it.

My parents have done the Bollywood/P Ramlee thing and told me to cut off ties and NEVER SEE THE AGED ROCKSTAR AGAIN. I am sad.

This is what i want to do:

STOP trying to be sensible, TAKE new scary job, MARRY the Aged Rockstar, MOVE to his country, JOIN him in his social entrepenuership and his farming of grapes and olives and be pseudo-farmer + social activist couple, HAVE children, TRAVEL the world with the Aged Rockstar and RETIRE in Malaysia.

What I will end up doing:

Have Common Sense shoved down my throat, FORGET the Aged Rockstar, TAKE new scary job. Never fall in love again, never marry and die lonely at 40.

and that's it for now.

I want my man, my baby and my grapes and olives and farmland and social activism.

But no, will take new job in NEW WORLD.

NEW WORLD will require change and sacrifice from within. For the greater cause. It will not be easy.

Am negotiating terms of NEW WORLD.

Have already had three cups of espresso, have shaking hands and pounding head.

Let's see what happens.