no use for drama
Today i took a leaf from Epi's generous gift to a friend and sent my cousin to the spa.
My cousin just had a baby in England and returned home 2 weeks ago. It was her birthday last week.
I knew she was also going through a rough time - she came back because her mum is in hospital, getting weaker by the day, by a mysterious illness. Her mum has been warded for 1.5 months now, and the doctors can't seem to figure out what's wrong with her. They keep feeding her with different medication hoping to diagnose the disease and she gets poked, prodded, intubated while suffering the side effects of antibiotics - nausea, mood swings, migraines, depression.
I knew also that the reason why her mum is so sick is because her immune system has been compromised - she had a massive athma attack when she found out her husband, my uncle, had taken a second wife.
When my cousin came out of the spa, she said she felt renewed. Said she also felt guilty but pampered and she hadn't felt that way for a long time.
Because 5 days after she gave birth, her mother-in-law made her get out of bed and do housecleaning. While her stiches still hadn't healed.
And that she suffered from postpartum depression for 3 months after, that she needed psychiatric counseling and medication.
That her father was irresponsible with the family finances. That while her mother was suffering she still loved her father. That they couldn't live with or without each other. That their children were suffering because their love was destructive and their life choices imprudent.
Today, i got out of my Funk, quite instantly. No use for it. Not when so much else is going on.
The thing that struck me was how she seemed so matter-of-fact when she related all this. Resigned, calm, accepting. And already moving forward.
Just getting on with it. No drama.
I love this woman so much at this moment - I have never seen her so beautiful, and I know her heart has been tempered, evolving her spirit and fortitude.
I have much to learn from family.
posted by Halva at
6:27 AM
3 Comments:
inspiration comes from the most unlikeliest places, eh?
Will you please explain to me why muslim women don't agitate for change on this 4 wives business? I've just never quite understood how my fellow women can be complacent about this issue. Also, do you think with women now being part of the educated and money-earning elite this will they ever agitate for a change in the law? I can understand the poor souls didn't have a say in the old days when they had no economic or intellectual footing with men, but now?
Cololocura - agitate would probably be an understatement for whats been happening in Malaysia lately, with loud and angry voices from women's groups, specifically Sisters In Islam. Very recently there was huge opposition to the passing of a Family Bill which aimed to legitimize and aggravate injustices re:polygyny and Muslim women succesfully banded together and advocated for the Bill not to be gazetted - and for significant amendments to be made after consultation with various groups - a milestone for our movement. It will be a long and hard battle, but the sisters are certainly not taking it lying down!
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